Oct 4, 2008

The perennial problem

Scene 1
Year: 2000. 
Age: 18. 
Location: IIT Madras. 
Life-stage: vela, 'fighter' college freshman.

There are only 2 'status symbols' at IIT Madras - a 9-point-plus CGPA, or a girlfriend. Since relative grading ensures no more than 10% can have the former, everyone wants the latter.

The month is Jan. Saarang is on. The air is thick with rumors of hotties from the local Stella Maris College and the 'pseud' Mount Carmel (Bangalore) being on campus, and 'available'. There is a flood of testosterone at the IIT boys hostels. 

Silo and Moma Singh are sitting out on the balcony at Mandakini Hostel, 3rd floor, surrounded by hajaar other freshie junta. Moma, wearing a tight, plain white t-shirt, and imported bright, yellow shorts with a large black smiley (:)) printed on it, gets up and proclaims 'Yaar, bandi chahiye'. He says it very earnestly, with a huge smile and a million dreams visible in his eyes...

Scene 2
Year: 2006. 
Age: 24. 
Location: Happening bachelor pad in NGV, Bangalore. 
Life-stage: young, single, stressed-out professional.

DaKatalyst (DK) is lying on the 'Diwan-i-khaas' and Silo on 'Le Lounge' in their living/party hall. It's late on a Saturday afternoon. Both are stressed, having survived yet another tough week on their jobs.

Silo: Kya plan hai?
DK: Athena chalte hain
Silo: Fight hai
DK: Kya, couple entry?
Silo: Yep. 1k per couple. Can enter as group with more guys. Will hafta pay 1k per couple or guy. Stags not allowed otherwise.
DK: Yaar, kya ch****p hai. Phone lagao...
(30 min later)
Silo: Spoke to Redskin. She's meeting some old friend. Dante has gone to Dharwad. Sirf Kilkari hai. Hum 4 hain. Bakiyon ko kata bhi dein - 2 of us and 1 girl will be weird.
DK: Abbe yaaaaar! Aur bandiyaan dhoondo...

Scene 3
Year: 2008. 
Age: 26. 
Location: Large, empty bachelor pad in low-rents, no-life nook of Bangalore. 
Life-stage: Professionally stable, dead bored single guys facing an early mid-life crisis.

Most friends have got married or moved on from Bangalore. Silo and Donnie-boy have moved into a flat where no pizza chain delivers! Now they're facing something they've come to dread recently - a 3-day weekend! Fack! So much time. Absolutely nothing to do. After 2 sessions of ping-pong (all equipment is set up at home), hours of aimless browsing, watching the latest episode of Splitsvilla, and cracking many many lewd jokes, the following converastion (inevitably) ensues:

Silo: I'm BORED. Let's go out
Donnie: Main aur tum?
(still more lewd/gay jokes follow)
Silo: Pak gaya hoon main. I need to get a life
Donnie: You need to get a WIFE. Shaadi kar leni chahiye ab
Silo: I'd like to. Koi mile to
Donnie: Single bandiyaan hain hi nahi...

Location, life-stage, time sab badalta hai... saali ek haqeeqat nahi badalti...

1. Officially, the gender ratio in India is ~900 females per 1000 male (in cities). Logically, only around 10% of all guys should be single. The real number is statistically significantly higher.
2. Silo did find partners shortly after scenes 1 and 2. Both were great. But, both didn't work out after all.
3. Scene 3 is very recent. I hope Silo manages to hook up 'soon after' again. Though it's gonna be tougher this time as opportunities are few and far between. However, this time, it will probably be the 'happily ever after' kind.
4. Actually, Silo believes he has found the Ritegal. Ritegal, however does not seem interested at all, and has masterfully been playing the 'worm effect' on him, pushing him close to his wits' end. Though it doesn't appear likely, I hope they manage to work things out

1 comment: