Fraud. James Fraud

Owners of the 'James Bond' franchise have decided to spoof themselves. In a stellar example of brand suicide, ladies and gentleman, they introduce Daniel Craig as James Fraud in Casino Fuck-all.

This is not the first such attempt. Earlier this year, MI:3 was released - with none of the SFX one expects from an MI movie, and with Ethan Hunt favoring marital bliss over adrenaline rush. We also had Batman Begins and Superman returns, where you got to see the humane, confused side of superheroes.

Gimme a freakin break. I dont care about Bond's feelings, or Ethan Hunt's desire to settle into a normal life with a nurse. I have all those issues in my own life. The reason i love these movies is that these are larger-than-life characters, disdainfully above all these 'normal' issues. They are not expected to fall in love and to face personal, emotional crisis. They are just supposed to kick ass in breathtaking, gravity-and-all-physics-defying action. Thats what I paid for - a high-paced, noisy action movie. Not melodrama. I want entertainment, not philosophy. I want to admire and be in awe of these guys, not to empathise with them in their moments of weakness.

Not to say that movies that explore personal dilemmas and emotions should not be made. Go ahead and make them by all means. But position them that way. And let them be seen by people who want to see such stuff. There's a time and place for everything. A Bond movie is NOT where we expect to see people seriously falling in love. And when i pay through my nose and struggle to get a ticket, struggle to finish work early and watch the first day, first show, I want what i expect. No surprises please.

And now for the facts. This Bond introduces himself as 'James Bond', not 'Bond.. James Bond'. He doesnt care if his Martini is shaken or stirred. He falls in love with a girl - for real - and is willing to give up everything for her. And he admits it to her. The Bond tune (most recent version by Moby, I think) - the tune thats played in the background since the first Bond movie - does not accompany the action on the screen at any time. He doesnt flirt with Moneypenny (or whatever the secy's name is). He does not blow up any of Q's inventions. And he actually fights and gets bloodied. Bond is NOT supposed to do that. He's supposed to just screw everyone and walk away straightening his tie. I expected all this and paid to see it. None of it happened. Hence, my disappointment.

Maybe its not such a bad movie. But anyone who wants to see Bond the way they are used to seeing Bond, should avoid this fart.