Bangalore drift

There are several things I miss about Bhopal. Of course, there were the Black Queen sessions, cricket sessions and general tp with Sarkar, Paaji and the others. But on a more personal note, I had a lot of time for myself. I had time to think about where my life was going, esp. my career. I had time to think ahead, make some plans and identify some priorities. I even had time to realize I’d screwed up with missy and I missed having her in my life.

Since I’ve moved to Bangalore, life has been whizzing past. There are the long days in office (which I don’t mind - as long as the time is spent purposefully). Then there is the eternal question - where to have dinner tonight? Weekends are spent getting drunk, watching at least one movie, catching up on orkut, blogs etc, doing some house chores, and going to a pub/disc at least once. Then the next week begins. Then the next month. Somewhere in between we visit coorg, or kodai or some such place. Sounds very like a very busy, convenient and ‘fun’ life to live.

But somewhere deep down, I’m again starting to have that nagging feeling - that I’m not doing enough with life. These are supposed to be prime years - when one has little responsibility, a lot of energy and a lot of cash. Many of my friends are busy fighting their way up the salary curve. Some of the others have decided to get married and leave the rat race (though they will compete on a different plane with other married guys). I, simply put, am doing nothing. Nothing, that is, to influence the course of my life or my future in a positive way.

In Bhopal, the card games and cricket used to rejuvenate my competitive, sporting spirit. I used to read the economic times and fortune mag to stay abreast with the business world. Blogging and discussions with Sarkar, Paaji and Fatso used to provide some intellectual exercise. Now all that has gone missing - and I need to revive those aspects of my life.

Also I’d earlier posted about what I considered a life worth living. In short, it was all about making a difference to the world - no matter how small - but significant and memorable - in the limited period you have in this world. I don’t think delivering projects or partying contribute to that purpose in any way.

Something needs to be done. Right now I don’t know what. But the first steps are admitting a problem exists, and then trying to understand it. That’s what I'm doing now. I will fix this very soon. Or - as has happened in the past - something will give.